I Will Have the Bacon Slam (Hold the Bacon)

I think it's funny that people seem genuinely thrown for a loop when I tell them I don't eat meat.* I mean, show some love for a vegetable or two. Somehow my world of food seems so dim and narrow to them, barely worth navigating at all.

No BACON at breakfast?
No burgers on the grill?
What in the world do you eat for Thanksgiving, they ask?

Look, all that really matters to me is that I have found french fries to be lovely conduits for wing sauce. Life is meaningless without wing sauce. And there are McDonald's cheeseburgers with no meat (think of the cheeseburger as a unit. All the ingredients add up to one taste; you can't really taste the ingredients separately. Remove the meat, no harm, no foul.) Improvisation, not deprivation is what I say.

I am not that strange. Well, not for my food choices at least.

*I eat fish. But meat eaters don't really consider fish meat at all. I think only proper vegetarians consider fish meat.